Exhausted.

So...it is the third day back at school and I am completely tuckered out already. I'm actually kind of starting to worry about this semester because
1) I have yet to have some time to myself in the evenings even though I have a private room...I see this as both a good thing and a bad thing.
2) Some of my classes are going to be really tough. Particularly the theatre classes this semester.
3) I haven't even factored in rehearsals yet and those are going to be really rough I can tell.

Still I am enjoying my time back in Columbus. It is nice to have a private room so far because at least I do get a little bit of time to myself even if it is just a few minutes before I fall asleep and also I don't get woken up anymore. Thank goodness because I'm going to need a good nights sleep every night to get me through all of this.

I feel like turning 22 has brought responsibility into my life. People always ask you if you feel different after your birthdays. "How does it feel being 22 now?" I say that it feels like being an adult. An actual adult who has to make hard decisions and be responsible. This is something I am starting to realize and put into effect now.

Anyways...I just thought I would give a little update. But seriously I'm about to fall asleep at the keyboard so I'm going to go to bed now. Sweet dreams!

Random Thoughts

Ok here are a couple of random thoughts.

1) I am soo excited about studying abroad. I seriously LOVE to travel and I can't wait for all the learning opportunities that will be available to me overseas. I mean this scholasticly (sp?) and also life experiences. I just want it to hurry up and get here.

2) It has been nice seeing my friends from high school. They are good people. :)

3) I am wondering how the hell I'm going to get through this upcoming semester. Even my weekends for the entire semester are completely booked almost with social events, auditions, and conferences/school requirements.

4) The more time I spend being single the more the thought of committment terrifies me. I like being close to men and to have them be invested in me but I don't want to actually invest my feelings into them. Does that make me a bad person or a smart person?

5)I don't want to live at home once I graduate...but it wouldn't make sense for me not to when I'm trying to save up money.

6)I need to drink more water. It would be good for me.

7) I am addicted to looking at expensive clothes online that I could never afford without winning the lottery.


yeah ok thats about it for now.

So This is Christmas

Right now I'm feeling very good. Although this might be because I am on 10 Mg of Perkiset right now...I feel like there is more to it.

Its Christmas break for one. I am so incredibly happy to be home and be surrounded by family. I feel kind of bad because I have been very cranky and bitchy to them since I've been home but I mean come on...I just got my wisdom teeth out and I'm in a lot of pain so I feel like I have a semi good excuse there.

I have finished all of my Christmas Cards so now all I need to do is buy stamps and mail them out. Once I completely recover from my wisdom teeth I'm going to go and buy Emily a gift for her bridal shower which I'm excited about. The theme is basically different times of the day and I got Cocktail Hour. A very fun hour to shop for. :) I also can't wait to put up the Christmas tree and decorate it while listening to Christmas songs. I love Christmas so much. Its such a wonderful time of year.

So far most of my grades have been posted and I've gotten all A's and B's. I'm waiting on my grade for French which will most likely be an A...but might be a high B depending on how I did on my final. And I'm not quite sure about my Seminar in Auditions class. Its the only one I'm really kind of nervous about so I hope she posts it soon so that I can stop worrying.

Umm other than that things are going well. There is a guy in my life who is interested in me and I am interested in him...although I am hesitant to take it anywhere so I'm just gonna follow my instincts with it and whenever it feels right is whenever I will actually pursue it. still...we went on a sort of date the other day and it was really fun and cute. I enjoyed myself a lot. So we'll just see how that is.

Also...another wonderful thing that is going for me is that I am finally free from my bitch of a roommate. I literally have never in my life met somebody I did not like more and living with her was a nightmare. Being around her was a nightmare. All the negative energy that she put into that room put a lot of stress on me and made it impossible for me to relax in my own bedroom so now that I am moving out I know that things will be a lot better for me. A LOT better. Plus not only am I getting away from her but also I'm getting a private room which is something that will make my life better. I really need some privacy especially when I get stressed out...sometimes I cry and sometimes I freak out and somtimes I just HAVE to be alone in order to truly relax. So I'm really excited about it. And I'm really excited about getting to decorate the way I want to.

Life is just really good right now. That is basically the gist of this entry. And on a brighter note still...I am finally getting over him. Its happening slowly but surely and that is wonderful. Ok. I've written enough for now.
Much love to everybody who reads this.

[no title]

I was too lazy to come up with a title for this entry...so there we go.

I lost my scan card. Like really lost it...not sure what I'm going to do about that. I'm also about to go to a very girly kitchen themed bridal shower....it makes me laugh. I'm perplexed really. What the hell do you do at those things anyways...lol.

So I love how the second you put a title on something...any title not even that serious...things get weird. Lovely. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with men anymore. I just wind up getting hurt or wind up utterly confused. haha. Its funny because I try so hard to be that woman who isn't clingy and gives the guy some space. I can go for days without texting them but the second I do text them with anything they get paranoid on me and categorize me into that clingy category. So really its a lose lose situation. Why bother then. Thats the question.

especially when no man right now is going to take his place. I hate that I'm still upset over this breakup and I hate that I miss him and I hate that he talks to me like we are friends and I hate that I talk back...because I can't be mean to him. I hate that he always manages to get whatever he wants from me...even now. Anyways...I'm done being a crybaby.

Just had to rant for a bit. The End.

A Feeling

I have a feeling that things are about to get messy.
I have a feeling that things are about to get complicated

I don't know. Lately I feel like I should just lock myself away in my room and not interact with anybody. Everything seems to be going wrong right now. My world is a whirlwind of people, places, events, and experiences. Sometimes I can't quite keep up. Oh well. Life goes on. :)

People

I hate inconsiderate people who don't seem to understand that they can't just walk around doing whatever they want without consequences.

Sleepin a Dream About You.

The title has nothing to do with this entry. Its just the song that's stuck in my head right now. hah.

So I know its been awhile since I've written. Just been busy. Ever since I got back from New York I have been going non stop. Lets see what all has been happening. I got assigned a senior project. Its a senior acting recital which was my first choice so I'm very excited about it. It looks like I am going to be able to graduate on time. Still just thinking about all the stuff I have to do next semester in order to insure that I do in fact graduate on time is really really stressfull. I will most likely be taking 19 hours as well as working on my Senior Project. I also got cast in Crazy for You in the chorus and am understudying the lead role so that will keep my evenings busy.

Another good thing is that I got passed on at GTC so I will be going to SETC next semester in March or whenever it is. I'm also going to try to do UPTAS and Unifieds to see if I can line up work for next year.

Lets see what else...I am going to go to London in May. At first I was not thrilled just because it costs so much money and the fact that I have to do it instead of it being a choice in order to graduate...but the more I think about it the more excited I get. I've always wanted to travel outside of the United States and if I go to London that means that I can go other places too. AKA IRELAND!!! One life goal checked off the list. haha.

Umm other than all this stuff I have been doing ok. I have just been trying to go out and spend time with friends. Make new friends that kind of thing...but sometimes I still feel very alone even when I'm surrounding myself with people. Doesn't help that he has moved on completely and is happy now and doesn't seem to miss me at all. It hurts to think about...even when I know its better this way. I know with time I will get to a point where I don't care anymore either. I'm already getting there. Just need more time.

so yeah anyways there's my update. the end.